The First Date is Over

You know that feeling when you are going out with someone for the first time? You feel all nervous but excited at the prospect of what could be coming your way. That’s how I felt about yesterday. I was terrified of heading into this project, but at the same time excited about finally forcing my own hand (literally!) I spent time creating the page that would explain it all, I jumped head first into a few paintings, I told just about everyone what I was going to do. I got great feedback, mostly on my Facebook page. I had hoped, and still do, that my family and friends might offer feedback right here on the blog. (Hint inserted here.) I did get one wonderful comment that brought a smile to my face, and was excited to see people following my page.

By last night fear began to creep in. The excitement of the first date over, the did fear of, “Did he like me, is he going to call?” nonsense started. Yesterday was a pretty stressful day. Some issues relating to other parts of our life were causing upset to both my husband and I. We had a good day despite the stress, but I, as always, internalized the situation.  I find it difficult to be creative when I’m upset. The whole suffering for your art thing never made sense to me. I believe that in giving birth naturally to two eight pound plus babies, and having had six knee surgeries (Again, good with the hands, not so good with the feet.) I have suffered more than enough for my art and that of everyone else too. I am happy when I create. As the day wore on the weight of what I had done to myself was crashing down on me. I had committed to the world that I was going to produce one piece of art EVERY day. I pulled out my watercolors and painted. I didn’t just produce one painting, I did three. Two are artist card size. For those of you not familiar with the Artist Trading Card movement Google it.( Worth reading about and trying to do yourself if you’ve been hiding your own creative desires.) The size is similar to a wallet size. Two and a half, by three and a half in size, it can be anything, made any way as long as the size is right. I find it an easy way to do a quick piece of art, especially when I promised to do some! I will publicly admit right now that all three are falling into the “not good enough” category in my head. I am posting the three of them because I said I would, and I always keep my promises. So that being said and my excitement diminished, here are three pieces of work. Not my best, but not my worst, and at least I did it!

April 14 (1)

April 14 (2)April 14 (4)

The beginning!

A few months back I picked up a book called “A Daily Creativity Journal 365 Make Something Every Day And Change Your Life!”  It really resonated with me. I’ve been stuck in an artistic rut for years. Huge chip on my shoulders because I never got art lessons. I did get tap dance, ballerina, Irish Step Dancing, and guitar lessons. Those of you who know and love the uncoordinated individual I am understand what a waste of time most of the above mentioned lessons were. As for guitar, my sister was taking piano and my parents had visions of us becoming an all girl band at some point, so I was denied the piano lessons I truly craved (one can’t have two pianos in one band). The guitar teacher was a hideous man, his brother the piano teacher wasn’t much better, but at least he had the instrument I wanted. On Saturday mornings my sister and I would head to lessons, dreading the hour ahead and quite honestly, making fun of the teachers on the way. Soon enough we figured out that if we lied to the piano/guitar teachers, telling them our parents couldn’t bring us the following week, and telling our parents that the teachers had an event, we could spend the morning doing what we pleased. Needless to say, I don’t play the guitar. What I can do is draw, and paint, and build, and design, and re envision just about anything you might put in front of me. I can also create in the kitchen, I’m an excellent cook and baker. Pretty much anything I can do with my hands is achievable. Now that I’ve dragged out my introduction, and probably provided fodder for therapy, I’ll get to the point. I actually do something creative pretty much every day. What I don’t do every day is art. I avoid it. The fear of “I’m not good enough” dancing through my brain. (Remember the chip?) I make beautiful food, paint rooms in my house, plant flowers in my garden. All of that comes so easy to me.

I read this book and thought, “I can do this”.  I had a hard time deciding what exactly I wanted to do. I’m a little A.D.D. when it comes to art. I like to do so many things. I went into my studio and looked around, and then it came to me. I’m going to clean out my studio. Not clean out as in tidy up, it is truly one of the most organized spaces you will find. I am my father’s daughter after all. Every little item is labeled and in its place. I can get what you need from there in a fraction of a second. Organizing my studio has become another tool for avoiding actually doing the work of art. An idea popped into my head. I will spend a year using the supplies at hand. Cleaning Out My Artistic Refrigerator was born. I was very excited at the prospect, and truly did start almost immediately, but then a roadblock. A very nice roadblock, but a roadblock none-the-less. My daughter got married. I threw all of my creative energies into making Jessica and John’s wedding as special as I possibly could. The wedding was last Sunday, time to slay the dragon! I am letting you all in on my project because quite frankly, I am the girl who did homework the night before it was due. I work better under pressure. Starting today, Saturday, April 13th, I will be posting something EVERY day that I achieved artistically the day before. It could be oil, watercolor, acrylic, painting on wood, sculpting….the list goes on and on. It could also be a finishing a work that has already been started. (The chip yet again, what is not finished cannot be judged, by me or anyone else.) I am going to start by posting a few projects that I had completed before the wedding. I hope you will all follow along, give me some feedback, and encourage me on my journey.

Posted in art