I hate to admit it, but today is one of those days when any project is an issue. Not enough sleep, feeling a little under the weather, I just can’t seem to find any inspiration. I looked through some old photographs in my computer and actually picked a few, but the truth is I’m just not up to it tonight. I promised art every day for a year, and as I have said in the past, there are days I just didn’t count on. Today is definitely one of them. I pushed through it last night when I wasn’t feeling well, but tonight I think I’ll be raising the white flag. The only thing that I’m finding inspirational at the moment is putting my head down. However, I have been raised on the ultimate force of power in the universe, otherwise known as Catholic guilt. When I make a promise, I keep it. I realize that there is no WordPress hotline to the Vatican that might report my missed deadline, but due to masterful parental manipulation, guilt rules my life. I wouldn’t dream of not following through when I say I’ll do something. I really was going to try, but in the not so far distance I hear my couch calling my name. Of course all of the above being said, I can’t answer the call of the couch until I post something. A simple watercolor. I hope to be back in fighting form tomorrow.
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Organic Process
Working on my lamp shade became a much bigger project than I imagined, and also headed in a direction that I hadn’t planned on. To begin with my matte knife blade began to dull from cutting out the cardboard tiles and I didn’t have a replacement handy. There was also the fact that I was trying to spell out specific words and as always failed to plan ahead. I don’t like to plan too much when I’m working on a upcycling project. I’d rather the process be more organic and evolve as I work. I’ve produced some really terrific work that way. I made the tiles individually, and then attached them to the frame as I finished them before beginning the next one. I was incorporating the name of our upcoming business (which I can’t reveal just yet), and of course began to realize that the tiles should probably be larger going down the frame. Part of the fun in not planning is running into the “mistakes” or problems and coming up with creative ways to deal with them. I like to let the project lead me by what it needs. In this case I liked the oddity of what was beginning to happen. I also realized that I was going to have some empty space to deal with, this is when the lamp shade headed down the Steampunk path. I have so many little pieces in my studio that I have gathered over the years, I went up and began poking through drawers and boxes. I came up with a little bit of rusty chain and a box of vintage keys. I began to drape the chain behind and hang keys throughout. I thought it was finished, but as I photographed it for this post I discovered a lot empty space I want to deal with in the morning.Sometimes it takes stepping away to see what is missing. Even as I write this I think I have the perfect piece in mind to add in the morning. I also need to get the right bulb and lamp base. Dan is going to help me tomorrow by creating a lamp base using some pipe. For tonight the not quite finished shade. It’s well on its way, it just needs the right accessories.
Illuminated Inspiration
I was looking on Pinterest last night and came across a photo of a lamp that I really loved. Like so many things I see that I love I decided to make it. I’ve actually been playing around with stripped down lamp shade frames for about a year. Again in my efforts to recycle I try to make new things out of old things. I like to take something ordinary and turn it into something interesting. The lamp I saw was made from a stripped down frame and some vintage tin alphabet stencils. My first thought was to go to etsy and purchase some vintage metal stencils to use to create my own version of the lamp. I quickly realized that it would cost me more than I wanted to spend if I purchased as many stencils as I would need. Years ago I was watching a television show about craft projects that showed a technique involving glue and brown paper. The glue was painted on a brown paper bag that was then held over a candle flame. The glue begins to blacken and bubble, and when the blackened portion is wiped off the paper looks like metal. I remember when I first attempted the technique, I was amazed at the results. I went on to improve on the technique, and actually made a frame for a mirror using it, and then went on to sell it at a show. I haven’t used the technique for years until today. I also save all of cardboard backing from my pads of drawing paper, and any larger pieces of cardboard that are inside packages. The burning glue technique works really well on cardboard. I created my own version of the stencils out of cardboard and used the technique on them. Free “metal” stencils from recycled cardboard. I didn’t get enough of them done to finish my lamp today. I did take before and after photos of the cardboard to post for tonight. I can’t wait to finish the lamp, and will definitely post the finished project tomorrow .
Late Grade
Last night I gave myself an unofficial report card on my project so far. Guess what I forgot? Come on, we all know what it is…Perspective of course. Notice how I managed to forget that little issue? I think its post traumatic stress disorder caused by geometry. I was straightening out all the supplies that are laying about in my family room and found not one but two books on the subject. One was a book I own and have owned for years. The other was the library book I wrote about last week. Have I read them thoroughly? No I haven’t. I did crack open the library book and make a few rough sketches that I had posted last week. I also wrote last week about my love of reading. So that might make one wonder why I haven’t read these books on perspective. I have had a lifelong issue with reading. Back in the third grade I was pulled from reading class by the nuns to help the first graders with reading. My reading skills were always above my grade. I can knock off a novel in an afternoon. However, if the reading material happens to be in the form of an instruction manual, or a text-book on a subject that I am not interested in, I can read a page again and again, and nothing, not a thing. No comprehension what so ever. I hate to admit this but I’m about as stubborn as they come. I mean no disrespect as I say this, but to quote my Dad, “That one could argue Jesus Christ off the cross”. If I don’t want to do something it just doesn’t happen. I really believe that if I’m not interested enough in the subject my brain closes its eyes and refuses to look. There can be no other explanation. So my grade on the offending perspective…C- I think that’s fair, I have seen some improvement, but obviously if I actually tried to work on it I could do better. I’d like to promise I’d do so, but I really, really hate how mathematical it is. Like everything else I do and have done with art, I will continue to work on it in my own way.
And in taking a step in the right direction, I started my project early today. I’m really happy with my finished piece. Sometimes the unexpected comes into your life, and sometimes it brings incredible people with it. Alexis, a beautiful young lady and the subject of my painting tonight. I’m not actually sure who took the photograph of her, I saw it on her Facebook page and thought she looked beautiful. I also loved the abstract way the light had blurred the line of her pants, and the unusual color it cast on both Lexy and her surroundings. I’d like to think I captured her essence and the reflected color. It is the most ambitious watercolor I have done to date.
Heading Into Midterms
At the birth of this project the object was to use up the supplies I have on hand in my studio. The project evolved into much more than that, but the original purpose is still a challenge to be met. It’s been a while since I’ve written about my artistic self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy due to my lack of artistic schooling. I bring it up again because I am nearing the halfway point in the promise of a year of art. I am roughly two weeks away, and decided to step back a little and check my progress. I have produced a tremendous amount of art since April when this all began. Not all have been pieces that I love or even like. There are some that I am immensely proud of. It is without question the most productive I have ever been artistically. The state of my studio? It pretty much looks the same. I have gone through quite a bit of watercolor paper, several canvases, some drawing paper, but for the most part it looks the same. Which is strange considering that a great deal of my materials have made their way down to our dining room, our family room, our guest room, the kitchen and even the garden. In terms of cleaning out my artistic refrigerator, I am a total failure. I might also mention here that I tend to be a bit untidy as an artist (OK, in other areas as well, particularly when creating in the kitchen), I’m working on it. However, the clutter in my brain is beginning to straighten itself out. Not that I don’t still have total meltdowns and think my work is crap. Years of self-doubt aren’t that easy to shake off. It is just that I am feeling more fearless in my art. I don’t give up when I begin to feel “not good enough” trying to sneak back into my brain. I do have to admit that there are a few recently orphaned canvases that need to be addressed. Oil is still my big hangup. Patience is really in need of attention.I have of course recently professed my new-found love of pen and ink. My watercolor skills are much better than I realized. So as I near that halfway mark I think I’m doing OK. I give myself high marks for growth in artistic confidence, but I am failing in making myself and art a priority. I am still cranking this work out after dinner. That’s right, ninety percent of the work that I have produced and posted on this blog have taken place between the hours of seven and ten at night, including writing. I guess I have to stop and ask myself what the problem is. What is the roadblock in my way? I don’t know. I do know that I can see what I am capable of in three hours, imagine what I could do if I actually gave myself time.
I decided to head up to the studio and dig out something different. Pastels. Which I will now admit I am discovering are not my favorite medium. The point is to use up the supplies. I’m trying! This piece is based on a photo from La Jolla Cove here in Southern California.
Living A Better Life
While I was at my Dad’s house I looked through his old photo albums. I ended up bringing quite a few photos back with me to repair. I’ve gotten pretty good with Photo-shop, particularly on the old damaged pics. Some were photos of my grandparents when they were young. Those pictures got me thinking. I wondered if my grandparents thought about their lives, if they were satisfied, or if they ever gave it any thought at all. We live in a very me, me, me, society. Some of that I believe is good. I think if we are allowed and encouraged to grow as people it benefits us in a multitude of ways. At the same time, in all of this self focus, do we lose sight to those around us? Is it possible to satisfy your own needs without taking into consideration the needs of others? Yes and no. One of the books I really enjoy, and have reread many times is Mitch Albom’s “The Five People You Meet In Heaven”. In essence the book speaks to how each moment in our lives we touch others in ways we don’t even realize. I think about that a lot. I’ve mentioned before that I like to think about being the “nice lady” someone remembers from their childhood. Just think of the difference we could all make if we thought about that every day. A smile, a compliment, an open door for a stranger, simple acts that cause a ripple effect. It is so easy to change the day of another person. When I think back on my life I can remember moments that make me smile with the memory of something I did that I know made a positive difference in the life of someone I barely knew. Unfortunately I can also look back and remember when I wasn’t my best. These days I’m working on always keeping what is really important in life at the top of my list. I believe as I grow (yes, even at my age…), in particular through this project, as I am more content, as I am happier, I want others to feel the same. Things that bothered me in the past seem silly now. Anger has changed for me as well. I am angry about things that I see happening in the world that I cannot change, but I am finding it difficult to be angry with those I love most. Learning to let go of nonsense makes for a better life. Focusing on who and what we love can change all of us. Thinking about those single moments with the people you love, as well as those you will never know but have a split second with, can change a life, and you won’t even realize you did it. I guarantee that in that instant you can make the world a better place.
In amongst the photos at my Dad’s was a picture of my cousin Lorna’s son Oisin. As the world around me moves at lightening speed, Oisin is quite a bit older than when this photo was taken, but I loved it. Like the painting from last night it called to me. I experimented a bit with mixed media for tonight. Watercolor, pencil, and pen.
Acting On Inspiration
I spoke the other day of not quite understanding inspiration, what makes one idea or subject stand out more than another, why one photo calls to me more than another. That isn’t the case today. A friend of mine posted a photograph of his son and a friend on his Facebook page. From the moment I saw the photograph I wanted to paint it. I actually had turned to Dan and said, “You know what this is? It’s a painting, a watercolor painting.” My friend labeled it, “Best buds on the bench.” I love the photograph, and I love the label. There is a nostalgia that emanates from this photo, an innocence that these days is too easily lost. As I said, I know why I wanted to paint this one. Mike, thanks for permission to paint your wonderful photo, for giving me inspiration, and I hope Ryan and his “Best Bud”, remain that way for a very long time. 
A Plethora Of Pen
As a testament to how much I am enjoying the process of pen and ink, I did not one, but three sketches today, and all in I day where I wondered where I might find the time. I was cooking dinner for Brian’s birthday tonight, and as always it is the choice of the birthday boy/girl to decide what it is I will be cooking. Pastitsio, for those of you who are unfamiliar it is Greek lasagna. It can be complicated, and definitely time-consuming, but well worth the effort. Brian also doesn’t love cake and requested a French Silk Pie. Also a little complicated and time-consuming. Between the two I wondered where I might find time for art, but I did. First in the form of a homemade gift certificate, the second sketch while I waited for the base of my Pastitsio cream sauce to cool, and finally at the end of the evening when all was said and done, and everyone was groaning from the amount of food consumed (did I mention that I also made potato ravioli, with a brown butter Alfredo, crispy sage, and a little crumbled bacon?) We were sitting around the kitchen table talking, and I started to doodle. Sketch number three. So this is the part where I tell you all that this will be a very short blog tonight. I was on my feet all day, I ate too much, and I’m tired. This is one of those days when I forget just how old I really am. Lots of energy first thing in the morning, not so much energy by nine at night. Goodnight, I hope you like the work as much as I enjoyed creating it. And just to make you hungry, a photo of my pie.
The Written Word
I have mentioned in the last several weeks that Dan and I are planning a business. The sales of books will be part of that business. We are both readers and book lovers, and we are proud to say our children are as well. In this day of electronics we still enjoy the feel of the book in our hand. I purchased an electronic reader for Dan a few years ago. He had insisted that he didn’t want one, but then on a business trip had found himself stranded at an airport that didn’t have a book store. He used the device quite a bit in traveling, and a little bit here at home, but eventually it gave way to the next device, on which he has very few if any books. I inherited the old one about two years ago, and as of yet have not put a book on it. I actually gave it to our son, and I believe it is somewhere in the pit of despair that he calls a bedroom. I have a favorite book, Jane Eyre. It was assigned to me by Sister Charlotte in my freshman year of high school, I dreaded reading it as I am not fond of the old English style of writing. Then I read the book, and read it again, and again. I believe I am somewhere past thirty times at this point. I even treated myself to a very early edition a few years back. Last year when the new Jane Eyre film came out I waited anxiously to see if for once someone would get it right. I’ve seen several versions and the casting has been way off. This was no exception, Mia Wasikowska was perfect as Jane, but Michael Fassbender is far too handsome for Mr. Rochester. I need to cast the next version, and by the way, I was the one screaming out in the middle of the movie, “That never happened!” Anyway….my point is that I love the written word, I love poetry and song lyrics, books of all kinds, and quotes, love, love quotes! Books were the escape for a lonely girl with no friends (I believe I’ve made reference to my dear Nancy Drew in the past), and the extraordinary Diary Of Anne Frank. I could go on and on, there are so many books that have meant so much to me, and given me great joy as well as great sadness. When I hear that a book has been banned I can only wonder what everyone is so afraid of. The written word is a gift, sharing a favorite book, or story connects us all. Our hope is to share our passion with others. I somehow can’t imagine that when I am blessed with a grandchild that I would want to give them an electronic device as a keepsake for their first birthday. The Velveteen Rabbit looks much better on paper. I didn’t have a lot of time for art today, something much more pressing took precedence (explanation below). I did exactly what I hoped to tonight, which was more pen and ink. Not as much as I wanted to do, but I believe something I will be using in my new endeavor, a book-plate. Pen and ink and colorized in Photoshop, with text added. Post of original sketch and finished book-plate.
As for what took precedence today? Twenty three years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful eight pound nine ounce boy, who has now grown into a wonderful young man. Happy Birthday Brian. Love you! (I know, its embarrassing, but that’s my job.)
The written word from me: Time knows no master, memory is our only ally, so make them good ones. You can quote me on that.
Newfound Passion
As I travel through this artistic journey I have learned a great deal about myself. I’ve changed in ways I hadn’t imagined. As I’ve mentioned before my artistic confidence is growing. My aggravation with perspective is growing. My impatience isn’t waning. My time management is improving slightly. One thing I hadn’t expected to find is a love for a form of art that I hadn’t set out to explore. For me it has always been about oil painting. I’m not quite sure why, and I may have even mentioned it before, but it is the medium I’ve always wanted to be skilled at. I still love painting, still love oils, the fluidity, the way they blend on a canvas, but I am beginning to feel differently about my focus on them. I’ve done a lot of watercolor since I began this project. It started out as a convenience more than anything. I’ve always liked doing watercolors, but hadn’t really tried anything too complicated with them. Sometimes its just easier to pull them out along side a cup of water, cleanup is definitely less trouble, especially the brushes. Now I find that I’m really beginning to enjoy the work, but the art form that is calling to me more often these days is pen and ink. I actually think it’s a little odd, mostly because it seems awfully mathematical to me, and the devil on my shoulder…perspective…can also be an issue (as always). I spent a couple of hours working on the piece for tonight and enjoyed every minute of it, so much so that I can’t wait to do another tomorrow. We had purchased an antique frame in Chicago, from the moment I saw it I wanted it for our upcoming business. I wasn’t sure exactly where we were going to use it, but it is such a beautiful piece I knew we had to have it. The paper in one of my sketch pads is the perfect size for the frame opening, so I decided to create a pen and ink drawing that we could copy and change as needed. I’m thrilled with the results. I’m posting a photo of the original in the antique frame, and a second that I scanned and tinted the edges of. I’ve owned these pens for years and until I started this project I hadn’t paid much attention to them. Just one more reason to be grateful for starting this year-long project that I know in my heart is only the beginning.
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