Twas Two Weeks Before…

Today was my show. The one I worked so hard for, the one I lost sleep over, the one I neglected this project for. I received several texts from friends and family, all asking the same, “How did it go?” It was a bust. Flat out terrible. There simply were no customers, and those that did come, the same people who would pay $15 for twenty cent piece of plastic at the gift store, turned their noses up at my under-priced items. One even tried to bargain me down. Needless to say I had a lot of time to kill. I used it to write this:

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas

I’ve been trapped in my house,

not a surface sans glitter

including my spouse.

There are no stockings

hanging anywhere,

I’ve been too busy crafting

stuck in my chair.

My cats are all merry

stealing fairy heads.

Why play with their toys

when they can chase my supplies instead?

With no shopping done

and nothing to wrap,

what I need for Christmas

is a really long nap.

My show was today

not sure what’s the matter,

I was hoping and praying

for a wallet that’s fatter.

It’s near the end of the day

and still no cash.

I’m still hoping and praying

for a last-minute shopper dash.

I see lots of people

go to and fro,

but no one seems to want to spend any dough.

I’m running low on Holiday cheer,

we haven’t hit bottom yet is my greatest fear.

Maybe I need some kind of magic trick,

or maybe I should have just called in sick.

There truly is no one person to blame.

I’ve done enough of these shows

to know some are lame.

I’m in a funk I don’t want to be in.

I’m trying to smile but don’t know where to begin.

What I really want is to sit down and bawl,

but I know that won’t help anything at all.

I guess there’s no use in asking why?

Why can’t I get someone to buy?

I guess you all know that I’m feeling blue,

but you’d feel the same if you were sitting here too.

My empty wallet is mathematical proof

2013 has thrown me for a loop.

2014 for you I am bound

to search for the luck that needs to be found.

I’m gearing up for the new year, I’m no pussy-foot.

Bad karma behind me where it needs to be put!

I will promote myself where I have a knack,

art that was learned off the beaten track.

I didn’t succeed with all of those fairies!

Despite my prayer of the Hail Mary.

It’s a Catholic thing as you all must know

to ask for a favor in times of woe.

I won’t give in, I won’t retreat,

instead I need to get back up on my feet.

Its time to load up my pickup the Chevy

I was hoping to leave with boxes much less heavy.

You may think that I’m feeling sorry for myself.

I think it might be the same for yourself

if you wanted to get ahead,

but you kept falling backwards instead.

I’m off to etsy to do some work

on my own little personal merc.

There is no one more than me that knows

that selling on-line does more than these shows.

Just a few more words until your dismissal.

New items tomorrow at the nine o’clock whistle.

Sunday shopping for a fairy or sprite

can be just the thing to make your Holiday bright.

Merry Christmas to all,

here’s my etsy site.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/jackiez59?ref=si_shop

From a very worn out and disappointed me, there isn’t anything new for you to see. But in the spirit of not giving up, an older acrylic from my kitchen. The fridge will be up and running tomorrow with new work.

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A Mystery Solved

Just days away from the show and working nonstop. I can’t wait until Sunday for a moment to breathe, but then only for a minute. My house will need a glitter detox before Christmas. I may have previously mentioned the cat hair tumbleweeds that I deal with in my house, but now they are sparkling and spreading the glitter as they travel. I took a load of laundry out the the dryer the other day and it had glitter on it. It’s out of control.

I will probably give myself a day off, or at least half a day off on Sunday, but then there is the Christmas tree we need to get, decorating to do, and of course shopping…I hate shopping. Yes, I am the legendary woman of lore, the one you have only heard tales of, the woman who hates to shop. The mystery woman with less than ten pairs of shoes, who only wears two of those pairs, one for winter, one for summer. Who only uses one purse until it completely wears out. You thought it was a myth didn’t you? I confess, I detest shopping. Hate malls. Hate crowds. I usually do most of my Christmas shopping via the computer, but unfortunately I have been too busy to do even that. Now it is too late unless I want to pay a fortune for shipping. I will have to plan carefully to get through it as quickly as possible. Otherwise there is the danger of my losing my temper and no one wants to see that.

The one thing that I am looking forward to after the fairy marathon is over is John’s apartment. I did another little piece of art for his walls tonight. A watercolor of my Chef’s knife. Just a week away from that project, and I can’t wait.12 10

Can You Spell W-I-M-P?

I finally took some time tonight to really sit and think about art for a minute, not craft (sorry fairies, you are art in your own special way, but….) I just haven’ t have the time. I’m still working towards Saturday’s show, and of course etsy sales, but I am craving the smell of oils, and even the frustration of the quick dry time of acrylic. I do however still have my watercolors. To be honest I am couch bound, old medical crap rearing its ugly head, so I am forced away from my workshop (formerly known as my dining room). It gave me the luxury of really thinking about what I wanted to paint tonight. Before I talk about the work and it’s inspiration I need to poke a little fun at myself. Regular readers know by now that I grew up in Chicago, the “Windy City”, and although that name actually came about not from the wind, but rather some boastful politicians and a World’s Fair, it really is windy there. When I was in college I found myself battling the wind as it caught the edge of my very large portfolio and spun me around. As I write this we are watching Monday Night Football, Chicago Bears vs the Dallas Cowboys. (The Bears annihilated the Cowboys in case you were wondering) I just checked the temperature, it’s eight,that’s eight degrees, and that doesn’t include the wind chill. Earlier today I was talking to my sister in Chicago and she said it was cold there. I said, “I know, it’s cold here too.” A light bulb went on, that’s when I said to her, “You’re probably about forty degrees cooler there aren’t you?” It was 50 here, yes 50, it was 10 there. It’s really, truly official, I am a “Wus” (is that a real word?), anyway…I was so cold earlier today that I was actually shivering, and it’s 50. I remember when I moved to California and made fun of all the “locals” who wore sweaters when it was 60. We had to run out for a doctor appointment earlier, when I felt the cold and the wind I announced to Dan that I can never live in Chicago again. I love Chicago, and I would of course have to amend the “never living there again” statement were I ever to be able to afford that downtown loft I’ve always longed for. Even then I would live in my loft for spring and summer only. I am so acclimated to the warmth of Southern California that I can no longer handle the cold. Yes, Wimp, that’s me.

It was very windy here today. (Really, not just because I’m a wimp)  When I thought about what I wanted to do tonight I remembered a photo that Dan had on his iPad. It was a man, a lone figure struggling in the wind. it became my project for tonight. It seemed appropriate considering how cold I am. I’m wrapped in my giant terry cloth robe, and sitting with the heating pad, and drinking hot chocolate… Hey, it’s 43!12 9

 

A Passenger’s View

It may seem at times that I focus on the negative. That isn’t really true. I will admit to some dark days as of late. I thought a lot about it this morning. When I started this blog last April I had no idea that my life would take such a dramatic turn. I find myself using these pages not only as a place to express my artistic struggles, but also the unintended recipient of my frustrations, worries, and life struggles as well.  I have a deep appreciation for the good things in my life. Sometimes it may not seem that way, but trust me I do.

I also take time every day to look at the world around me and breathe in the details. Every morning as I go outside to pick up our newspapers I stop to listen the silence of the morning. I also look to see what’s happening with the sky, and am known to often run inside to grab the camera to take a few sunrise shots. I mentioned the other day that I look at clouds with a painter’s eye. I actually do that with most everything. I am nearly always a passenger. I didn’t learn to drive until I was twenty-six, and in the twenty-four and a half years I have been married to Dan, I rarely drive. He likes to drive, I hate it. A necessity of life, my life, that I don’t enjoy. The benefit of always being the passenger is that you get a better look at the world. I often complained that I wish I had my camera, visualizing a painting as I looked at neighborhood streets,and then losing the mental picture by the time I got home. That problem is solved now with my phone. Back in September I used one of those photos as inspiration for a painting for this project. I pay attention to every detail. Every color, every cloud, every face that I see. I don’t want to miss a thing, because you never know when you will see something beautiful, when you will find inspiration, or discover some little place you never realized was there. There are definitely problems in my life, but I never for a second stop looking and being grateful the world and the people around me. This morning when I went outside I stood looking at a tree across the street, enjoying the simplicity of the tree against the morning sky. I have been buried in fairies as of late and today was no different. I haven’t taken the time to sit and paint, but today I thought a lot about that by beautiful tree. A simple watercolor of this mornings moment with nature. I will also pat myself on the back just a little for my inventiveness. (By the way, I take back the “my font looks good” remark of last night. My eyes are betraying me horribly) Two things that I created today made me happy. It really was true about the hot air balloon of yesterday. They float over my house regularly in the early morning. They take off from the vineyards. My show this coming Saturday will be here in town. Two things are very popular in Temecula, wine and hot air balloons. I made the wine fairies last week. I needed a hot air balloon. After several failed experiments I believe I’ve come up with one I like. The second was a special request for an ornament for a friend’s son. The little boy likes penguins. I didn’t have one, so I made one. Somehow life doesn’t seem so bad when I’m making penguins.12 8 (1)

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All I Want For Christmas

Dear Santa, I have been a really good girl. This year for Christmas I would like a …break.

Last night I posted that I had pulled out of my show today due to weather. The predicted weather was 50 degrees with a ninety percent chance of rain. I woke this morning to a shining sun, and I kid you not, a hot air balloon sailing past my son’s bedroom window. Really? I couldn’t believe it. It sent me into a tailspin of self-pity and tears. I’ve been working so hard and was terribly upset about the weather forecast, that shining sun was more than I could handle. The sun managed to stay out long enough to make me miserable, and then the rain started. What does it say about my life that I’m upset by a shining sun? The torrential rain that began didn’t make me feel better. I felt bad for the people who were probably set up for the show and were drenched. I think maybe these days my emotions are a little too close to the edge. I’ve spent months having my hopes dashed. Every time I think something good is going to happen for us something goes wrong. I spend a lot of time convincing myself that there are so many people in the world worse off than us. It’s an interesting little mind game that I play on a regular basis. To be honest I am counting the days until this year is over. New beginnings, new year, and new attitude. Just what the doctor ordered. Now I just need to get past the next three weeks.

After that little rant of self pity…I am still a woman obsessed. I had another idea for my nephew’s apartment. I love dictionaries. Obviously because I love words. I wanted to create another art piece for John’s place and came up with the idea of using a word to do with his profession. I chose “gastronome”. It’s just a cool word. I painted a piece of wood white and set out to paint the definition. As always as I look at the almost finished product it is slanted and skewed just like my brain. This can be explained by a number of reasons, my arch nemesis perspective, my horrific eyesight, and probably the fact that I start these things at nine o’clock at night. What all of that means is that tomorrow I will be whiting out areas and redoing them. For tonight however what you see is what you get. I would like to point out that my hand painted font is pretty decent. Many years ago in a land with no home computers, I was a college student majoring in advertising. We went to an advertising show in downtown Chicago. At the show we were given sample font books. I gave mine to my daughter just a few years ago. There wasn’t a font in there I couldn’t copy free hand. Still can, just like a Xerox machine. A what??? If you are too young to know what that is Google it. For tomorrow it is predicted to be sunny, and I hope to have an outlook to match.12 7

An Invite

So much to do, and running out of time. I continue to work on my fairies, my game board, and a couple of small wooden mirrors. The mirrors were unfinished wood. I painted one, and am thinking of adding a little decoupage tomorrow. The other I decoupaged with photos of vintage book covers. I’ve been photographing them at antique stores for art projects. They are really quite beautiful. I am now in countdown mode for my December 7th show. If anyone lives in the Temecula/Murrieta area in Southern California and cares to come by, I’ll be at the River Springs Charter School Holiday Show, Saturday, December 7th. It’s at 41866 Kalmia, Murrieta. I’ll be the one with the glitter trail. On Saturday, December 14th, I’ll be at Old Town Antique Fair at their outdoor Holiday Fair, 28601 Old Town Front Street in Temecula. If fairies aren’t your thing, I will have other items, and possibly some prints. There are so many artistic things I enjoy I never know what I will end up doing. This is my Christmas shopping money so I’m hoping to do as well as possible. Dan and I were both having a difficult day today, it seems these days that one of us is up while the other one is down. Today was the exception. Heading into the holiday’s worrying about our future isn’t the best feeling in the world. I thought about all the times that he was kidding and said that I should be supporting him because of how talented I am. The thing is he is right. I just never had the confidence, but there’s nothing like worry to motivate me.  I also believe, and again and again I say it, as long as we are together we are good.

Here are a few photos of projects in the works for my shows. Feel free to introduce yourself if you stop by.IMG_2659

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You Do The Math

Let me repeat myself. You do the math. Seriously, I need help. I mentioned last night that I was working on the grunt work of starting a few pieces. One of them is a game board, a checker board to be precise. What was I thinking? The board I’m working on is a wooden circular table top from the home improvement store. So in the same time-honored tradition of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, I was trying to figure out where the center of the circle was in order to draw a square. Now as we have discussed in the past, I suck at math. Really, really, horribly suck at math. Yes, I can add, subtract, multiply and even divide, but that’s where I draw the line. I remember algebra and geometry, I still have nightmares, and I distinctly recall thinking, “Why are they making us learn this stuff? I will never need it. It serves no purpose in my life.” I was mistaken. I majored in interior design for a time. Something I have been passionate about as long as I can remember. Then I hit blueprint drawing. Yikes! I switched my major to graphic design and advertising. I never measure anything. So here is the circle sitting in front of me. How to find the middle? You put an album (remember those?) in the middle, eyeball it, sort of kind of measure around it, and trace the shape with a pencil. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Not so much. I spent about a half hour on one side, gave up, flipped it over and started over on the other side. Then came the division of the square into sixty-four evenly sized squares. Nine times. Again I repeat myself, nine times. I finally grabbed another tabletop I had done a few years back, one where I apparently still had some amount of brain function. I used some vellum paper, placed it over the existing checker board and marked the lines. Then after several minutes of professional eyeballing, I managed to finish it. This of course took way longer than I would have liked. My posted picture is a work in progress. I am liking it already. Finished piece tomorrow (promise!) As for the base, you are invited to the marriage of two oddball pieces tomorrow when all will be revealed. I’m not sure if you can tell, but I am again using some Martha Stewart Pearl paint. Beautiful on the unfinished wood. More math tomorrow. I have to figure out the center to attach the post. I think I feel a nightmare coming on…11 30

A Day To Be Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you all have much to be thankful for. Despite my “woe is me” moment last night, I realize I have much to be thankful for. I’m keeping it short tonight. The year is coming to a close. It’s been a tough one. There were of course good things. Jessica’s wedding, and having our families join together to celebrate our daughter move to the next phase of her life.  Brian seems to have figured out a plan for his life, and despite some aches and pains, Dan and I seem to be in decent health. We are down on our luck, but doing better than so many others. I am anxious for the new year, and hope to have much more to be thankful for in the year to come. Finally, to those I love, don’t ever doubt for a moment how thankful I am for you.

Too much cooking, too much eating, not enough sleep, I’m off to seek my pillow.

An addition to Emily’s birthday present. A small watercolor card.IMG_2635

 

Focus

I thought a lot about what to write this evening. The night before Thanksgiving, except I’m not feeling very thankful. It’s been several months since Dan lost his job. It has been a roller coaster of feelings around here, but there’s nothing like the beginning of the holiday season to bring emotion to the surface. I really struggled at the grocery store today. This time a year ago I was shopping for food to donate to the food pantry. Don’t get me wrong, we are nowhere near that kind of problem, but it hit me hard that our life has changed so much inside this past year. I think I took a lot for granted. Not the people in my life. I make a point of telling and showing them how much they mean to me. I did however, take for granted that Dan would always have a job, that we would always be OK. So for now my plan is to focus on what’s right in our life. We love each other, we have good kids, we have a wonderful new son-in-law, who makes our daughter very happy, our families are for the most part doing well, and we have some really wonderful friends. I also have a couple of children in my life who have had tragedy strike their lives much too soon. Focus. Focus on what is good in life, focus on what is important, focus on what you have not what you don’t have. Tomorrow I will be grateful to be with the person I love most in this world, there are far too many people who don’t have even that.

My project for tonight is an ornament, but not a Christmas one. It is for Emily. Tomorrow she will be five. She loves mermaids, so a mermaid it is. Also a box to put it in, another of my painted soap boxes. Emily is one more reason to be grateful tomorrow.IMG_2625IMG_2627IMG_2626IMG_2628IMG_2632

Dreaming Of Provence

Its been four and a half years since Dan and I were in Paris, and there isn’t a day that goes by when we don’t dream of going back. We talk about the trip often, it was for our twentieth wedding anniversary. We couldn’t afford a honeymoon when we got married. Next June we will celebrate our twenty-fifth anniversary, and the plan had always been to go back to France for it. With our current financial situation, and a new business (hopefully) in our future, that seems unlikely. But we can dream, and plan, and we do. We spend time talking about the places we didn’t get to, the places we would like to return to, and our ultimate dream, which would be to take a boat leisurely down the Seine, and explore the villages along the way. Dan is an Air Force brat, has traveled the world extensively. I have spent some time in three countries aside from France, but for both of us France is the place to calls to us both. Dan speaks of moving there, I’d love to, but I’d never move away from my kids. (I realize they will move away from me, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it) If we had gone to Paris on our honeymoon when we were young and first married, I believe we would be living there now. So for now all I can do is sit with the one I love, and share a dream, and sometimes paint a picture.

A field of Lavender in watercolor. Painted from a photo, let’s just dream that at some point I’ll paint one again plein air.11 25