There may come a day, or hopefully days, when I am not typing this blog at ten when all I really want to do is to go to bed. Each night I swear I will put my artistic endeavors above all else the following day, and night after night I sit here knocking out a piece of art after dinner. My poor husband has fallen asleep on the couch far too many times waiting for me to finish, but there is unfortunately always something that gets in the way, and sometimes it’s not even me. There was cleaning the house, cleaning out cat litter, cooking breakfast, making lunch, grocery shopping, three hours working on the faux brick wall project, and cooking dinner. The day just gets away from me. I’ve hashed this problem out in my head over and over. If I want to do real quality work, and anything substantial I need to start rethinking my life. I need to let some things go. So as Scarlett said, “Tomorrow is another day”, and so I will try again, try to make myself a priority, try to make my artwork a priority. Trouble is when you spend most of your life putting the needs and wants of everyone else first it becomes automatic. As I said the other day, it’s been a month since I started this project. I think I can honestly say that I may have set time aside early in the day less than a hand full of times. But I guess it’s all a work in progress, it isn’t only my work that is growing and evolving, but I think I am doing the same in other ways. I don’t stick to things, I have so many unfinished projects, but here now in my portfolio I have more than thirty pieces of finished art. I’m proud of that, and proud of myself for doing it. I feel like my personal confidence is growing with my artistic confidence, and I know that I feel happier and more content than I did a month ago. Doing things for others is very gratifying, I am a person who likes to give gifts rather than receive them, but I feel like I’m giving myself the best gift I’ve ever gotten, me, the way I was meant to be.
Tonight’s project was a simple drawing exercise. Its something I really need to work on. I know I mentioned the instant gratification person that I am. Drawing runs the gamut between pain and pleasure for me. Sometimes I absolutely love it, sometimes its algebra (a subject best left unspoken about). Painting is much more effortless for me, unless of course I torture myself with architectural type paintings. But I truly believe I can’t be the artist I want to be without working on all my skills.