Following The Thread

Believe in yourself. That has been my journey in the almost year since I started my blog. I didn’t begin with that as the intent. I actually don’t think I had anything in particular in mind when I began, only inspired to start a 365 day project, I forged ahead. Today I was reading through posts of some of the blogs I follow and throughout I began to see a thread that connects us all. Self doubt, and far too many that mentioned fear of rejection. Are we so programmed from birth to fit in that we fear that what we do, what we create, doesn’t fit? I looked through some art today as well. Some of it I didn’t care for. Does that make it bad art? I used to argue with my son about music taste. There was a time when he was quick to condemn music he didn’t like, he criticized others for liking what he didn’t. I always held to the argument that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Just because I don’t like a song doesn’t make it a bad song. After reading through the posts this morning I looked at some of my own, both art and writing. I realized that I was in many ways rejecting myself. I almost wrote a comment today to someone else, but then I saved it for myself. A little bit of advice that I was about to lay on another struggling artist, that is until I realized that there was some wisdom there for me. “There will be those who love your voice, as much as there are those who won’t.” I need to believe in my work, to stand by what I do, to understand that rejection is nothing more than the opinion of someone else.

There is a little story behind this piece. I spent the entire evening working on something in clay that broke as I was painting it. I had no project for today. Dan suggested putting up the broken pieces. I couldn’t. I grabbed a couple of things, not sure what to do. I painted a little on a mirror. Not feeling it. A board. Nope. I began to play with my pearl Martha Stewart paints on a small canvas.  Brushing on, wiping off, brushing again, not sure where to go, and then a break though. Break Through will be the name of this piece. I was pulling paint away and began to see something. I was talking to my Dad earlier. Another snowstorm in Chicago. I had been thinking about Spring trying to break through the snow and ice, and here it was in front of me.  Ice and snow, and color, that is Chicago in the Spring.  Memories of the purple crocus popping through the retreating snow.3 1 14

 

 

 

 

 

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Gaining Vision

Sound the alarm! I actually read one of the many, many, many art instruction books that I own (Well not the whole thing, just the part I had a question about). I did that because I also returned to the full figure painting of my daughter that I began several weeks ago. The same one I have been avoiding like the plague. I really liked the way the initial sketch was looking on the canvas. I also for the first time with a painting have a vision of what I hope the painting will look like when I am finished. That is a giant leap for me. For years I complained that I couldn’t get what was in my head onto the canvas. I really think my mind was so bogged down with all the nonsense of not being good enough. I really feel like my artistic vision is developing. I’m not going to post the painting yet. All I did today was some color blocking, and honestly it looks a little creepy at the moment. It actually looks like a portrait of one of the kids from Village Of The Damned. But proportionately it looks good, and I can see my daughter’s face emerging. I still wanted to have a piece of art to post this evening so I played around with my watercolors. A photo of my garden provided inspiration. It’s a little abstract, but I love the color, and I enjoyed painting it. I did it just for fun, which was actually quite nice. I really feel like I’m moving ahead. I’m not getting as stressed about what I’m working on. One of the benefits of working every day I guess. When I started this blog I used words like pressure and homework. I will admit that there are days when I have fleeting moments of wishing I hadn’t gotten myself into this, but they don’t last long. I think this blog and its accompanying artwork is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. It’s about time.Image