Nemesis thy name is Perspective

The battle rages on, I lose yet another battle to my evil nemesis. I pull out my ruler, I measure the page, I measure my photograph, I make my sketch, and (silent scream inserted here) it doesn’t work! Let me make this clear, I am so not mathematical. In high school, after a disastrous freshman year, I begged Sister Joan, my algebra teacher, head of the math department, and cruel decider of my mathematical fate, to let me take basic geometry instead of regular geometry (the kind for people who can think logically). Her response? I quote, ” Your reading scores are those of a junior in college. A girl as smart as you does not need to be in basic math.” Really? Does the fact that she graded me with a “D” for all four quarters (I’m not complaining, I deserved those “D”s, I earned them) not have given her some clue? So what did I do? I skipped math sophomore year, put it off until junior year, delaying the agony for a while. Thank God for Ms. Von Laven, she of the single barrette, that hung without purpose from the front of her hair. First quarter, “D”, second quarter “F”, third quarter “D”, fourth quarter??? “D”. I didn’t deserve that last “D”, I deserved an “F”. A truly Christian woman, (as opposed to Sr. Joan) who saw my struggles, gave me a tutor, realized that even that wasn’t helping, took pity on me and let me go. I love Ms. Von Laven. Have you taken the ACT college entrance exam? Possible high score of 36. In all sections across the board I received 28’s through 31’s, except for…math, I got a 9. I retook the test because I was dying with the flu on the first attempt. The second time? I got a 7. I did better while delirious than I did in my right mind. Pathetic.

I have a book, (OK, ten books) on perspective, I really meant to read them, but I think that Sr. Joan has scarred me for life. No not really, but I am so frustrated, (I know, I need to read the books!) that I almost gave up tonight That however, is a big no-no where this blog is concerned. So here is my slightly off kilter watercolor of a window. Is it possible that my brain is off kilter?

I will try again! The war isn’t over yet.image

A Missing Day

I didn’t post yesterday, not due to illness recovery but because a household project very much got in the way. This wasn’t a roadblock that I threw in my own way, but something that had to be done. Just last week I wrote about not letting this blog turn into the Monday morning diet syndrome, I can’t let this happen. This project has become entirely too important to me. For the first time in my life I have a sense of accomplishment and true happiness. Like many people I spent years looking to others to make my life complete. It’s taken me a long time to figure out that only I have the key to make that happen. I’ve never felt the kind of pride I have in my accomplishments and in my work before. Of course I’ve done things I liked or loved over the years, but this is the first time that I have fought myself to make me a priority. I’m finally feeling better, there are no excuses to not get back on track. I find it ironic that tomorrow is Monday after my little rant, but it is, and I will start working on making up lost time. For tonight, after a very, very long day, I decided to just grab the watercolors and see where it led me. I was playing with color, still unsure of my project when I looked up to see Riley, my cat. She was laying in front of me in a rather cute position, problem solved, tonight’s subject, Riley.

No pencil sketch, just painting her as she lay.Image

Broken Promises

Did I break the promise I made to myself last night? Of course I did. The last thing I wrote last night was a promise to myself to start my day with my work. As usual I let everything else get in the way. Cleaned my house, ran errands, you know the “anything I can put in my way” stuff. Are you like me? Do you keep your promises to everyone, everyone but yourself? Why is that so easy? When I say I’m going to do something I do it. Sometimes I don’t even feel like it but I do it anyway. Like telling someone you will call them when in fact you really don’t want to talk to them. I call. Or agree to help a friend do something, and then you are tired or lazy or just don’t feel like it? I do it. I have a sneaking suspicion that Catholic guilt plays a role, and I’m a woman. Women seem to feel bad awfully easily, at least I do. But if it’s for me, bottom of the list. I think I need to do a “Stuart Smalley”, remember Al Franken on SNL? I need to sit in front of a mirror and repeat, “I’m good enough”. But only after I clean the house, right?  I did finally sit down to do some art.  “And what time was that?” you ask. Well, if I’m going to be honest, about 7:30 this evening. By that time I was quite frankly ready for bed. Still unbelievably tired, but I was upset with myself last night. I did last-minute, under pressure homework for this blog last night, and it was crap. I really didn’t even want to post it, but I did say I would put up everything, even the crap. So as tired as I was tonight I was determined to put up something to be proud of.

When Dan and I went to Paris in 2009, I took in excess of two thousand pictures. The most beautiful, in my opinion, were the ones I took in Giverny. Every home and garden were spectacular. I looked through those photos today and pulled a few of my favorites. I believe I have mentioned my odd love of gates, windows and old doors. (If I haven’t then here’s the scoop. I take many, many photos of old doors, gates and windows. I never, ever take photos of people, except for Dan, who is of course my favorite human) I chose a photo for tonight of a gate I liked because of its color. Watercolor on paper. It was sort of last-minute, but its work I like, not something that I will feel bad about in the morning. No promises as far as a schedule for tomorrow, only the promise that I will put up work that I am proud to put my name on, and I will try really hard not to put myself last…I’m smart enough…I’m good enough…

 

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Catching Up

Long day today. Still battling some fatigue, of course very high temperatures outside don’t help. We did spend some time in our beautiful garden this morning before the sun grew too hot. I shared some photos along with my usual art work this evening. One of the fountain we designed and the other of my grapes. I am ridiculously excited about the grapes. I’m a city of Chicago kid, grew up next to the El. Growing grapes make me very happy.

I know I have some art to catch up on, but I also have a million things in my non-artistic life that I have fallen behind on as well. By the time I sat down to decide what to do for an artistic project this evening, I was exhausted and at a loss for what to do. Everyone tells me to take it easy, but those who know me well realize that sitting still is difficult for me. I unfortunately didn’t leave myself much energy for my project. I am making myself a promise that tomorrow it will be the first thing I do. I sat here on the couch and just looked around the room for inspiration. What I ended up with was a small leaf study in watercolor from a plant on my table, and when I opened my husband’s iPad there was a beautiful photo of a silhouette of a tree against a sunset, small painting number two. Both are small, no more than a few inches, nothing I’m crazy about, but it was enough to stretch my artistic muscles for the evening. Better things in the morning…promise.IMG_9724

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Recovering

I’m back, and I hope this time it’s for good. This pneumonia took an awful lot out of me. I don’t ever remember being this tired. I had every intention of posting yesterday, but early in the day I overdid it, and by evenings end I was in no shape for anything. My dear husband stepped in as I drifted off on the couch.

I’ve missed being here. This blog has done so much for me and my creativity. I’m feeling more at ease and creative than I ever have. It really has changed my life. I’ve spent most of my life being a “next Monday morning dieter”, and I did make several good attempts, but I would always fall back on my old ways. I was the same with art. Many, many false starts, but I never stuck with it til now. In the last several days as I struggled with illness I was afraid that when I tried to come back, when I tried to work again, that it would be another failed Monday morning. I’m sure your all familiar with it. You do one wrong thing and then it’s a private conversation in your head, goes something like this, “Well, I blew it now. I’ll just eat whatever today, and start again tomorrow.” Tomorrow never comes, or it doesn’t come for another six months. It took me so long to get here, and trust me there were days when I came really close to letting myself off the hook, but I didn’t, I followed through. I’m proud of that. I’m not giving up. I am a few days behind of course, three hundred sixty-five days, three hundred sixty-five pieces of art, I need to play a little catch up. I’m not worried, I know I can do it. I am however going to be realistic. I have been sick, very sick, and I need to take it easy.

It was very hot here today and our house felt like an oven. We decided to sit in the garden tonight where it was cool. I grabbed a couple of tomatoes off the vine. Tonight’s very simple exercise is a watercolor of my tomatoes. I’ll be back tomorrow, hopefully with something a little more ambitious. For now I’m tired…again. Goodnight.Image

Returning To Work

 

Hello known (and unknown) universe. I’m back for a quick blog. Feeling somewhat better, but still not to be considered a fully functioning human. Tired and winded, it may take a few days to get my mojo back. I thank all who participated in sending me good karma. I did manage in the last forty-eight hours to get something done. Actually, more than one thing since it was my wonderful husband’s birthday. It is also our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary today. I have been couch bound for a week, therefore no birthday gifts, cards, or anniversary card or gift. I don’t know why I have ever bought a single card, I make beautiful cards. Who knows? So I made a lovely birthday card, and then as a combination birthday/anniversary present(s), I wrote two poems, and then did pen and ink drawings to put them on. I’ve posted a photo of the first minus the poem. I think I’ll be doing a lot of watercolor, pencil drawing, and pen and ink in the coming weeks, I need to avoid the fumes of everything else.  I am more than pleased with the finished result, and even better than that, Dan loved them, and that is all that matters. Happy Birthday, and Happy Anniversary Dan, I love you.6 236 24 (1)

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Wanted: Good Health Karma. Please send into known universe. Compensation: All who participate will be rewarded with new artwork to gaze at!6 22

An Answer To Last Night’s Question, And A Little Tale

Last night I asked a question of the universe. It pertained to how I was feeling. I got my answer today….pneumonia. Alas, the universe has yet again thrown a roadblock on my journey!  One pill down and my head is up (although the rest of me is still on the couch), so I decided tonight in leu of artwork I’ll just write. There are more people following my blog than I had ever imagined, and I appreciate the support more than you may know. I thought maybe tonight I would just tell a little tale about myself. I have a very good friend who laughs at me, it’s not mean, it’s just that she knows me well enough to know if an accident can happen and I’m in the area, it’s mine. Another dear friend who keeps telling me that I need to save it for “the book”.There are many, many of these stories, but because I am already getting tired (been up since 2 a.m. coughing) I will share only this one.

January in Chicago can be really, really cold. Lake Michigan has a lot to say about how miserable Chicagoan’s will be. Lake effect snow, and wind chill can be brutal. My first car was an AMC Hornet. It was hideous, sort of gold color, with two giant rust holes in the hood that would spin the slushy crap off winter streets onto my windshield, not to mention that sometimes when the car wouldn’t start I would pop the hood, and using a pen I would push something inside the engine, (no idea what) and the car would start. That last part was actually quite impressive, guys actually thought I knew something about cars…not so much. As far as the rust holes in the hood, I had to shove plastic bags in the openings to be able to see through the windshield on winter days. Very stylish. How old was I with this piece of crap car? 16? 17? 18? No, I was twenty-six,(I had to spell that one out) a mother with a full-time job. On that cold January morning I drove my daughter to school. It was on a major Chicago street, Western Ave., lots of traffic, lots of parents dropping off, not in those nice suburban school circular driveways, but curbside on a street with four lanes. (I couldn’t possibly make a fool out of myself on a nice quiet street with no one around, could I?) The Hornet had two big, very heavy doors. I walked around to the passenger side to take my daughter out of the back seat. Once Jessica had cleared the door safely, I slammed it with force, which was the only way to shut them. As the door slammed it grabbed part of my coat, the part with the pocket, the pocket that had my keys in it. I couldn’t take the coat off, it was too cold, and there was no spare key for this car. Here’s a creative assignment, picture a woman, who appears to be leaning on a car outside in the middle of winter. I think the temperature was somewhere between nine and fifteen that day. Fortunately my sister’s kids went to the same school. I sent Jessica in search of her aunt. When my sister arrived she found great amusement in my dilemma, this of course after a lifetime of living with me.  Honestly, I would have killed for a coat hanger, and privacy! Eventually, between the two of us, and a little cooperation from my raggedy old Hornet, we managed to pull the coat and keys free.

Well, that took longer than I thought, and now I’m really tired and winded. Have a little laugh again tonight at my expense, I do it all the time myself.

Something Old And A Little Something New

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This will be a very short post tonight, it’s Father’s Day and my attention needs to be elsewhere. I did a very, very quick sketch, and I did a little work on my wood burning project for my friend. I won’t bother to show the project tonight, not enough to show. I actually thought that I might take the day off, but I can’t. I read someplace that if you exercise for six weeks it gets in your system and you want and need to do it. (It never happened for me) I have been writing my blog for about eight weeks. I have to admit it, I’m hooked on the project. I have to keep my promise to myself. I feel incredibly good and positive about the direction this has taken me.  So here is just a little something new, and since it was so quick, a little something old, an oil inspired by the area I live in.DSC03388

What Makes An Artist?

I’ll begin tonight with a definition. I of course have my own theory, but I will give you one I googled, and found on The Free Dictionary.

Artist

1. One, such as a painter, sculptor, or writer, who is able by virtue of imagination and talent or skill to create works of aesthetic value, especially in the fine arts.
2. A person whose work shows exceptional creative ability or skill: You are an artist in the kitchen.
3. One, such as an actor or singer, who works in the performing arts.Nov 17th (4)

If you are curious about the food photo, the explanation lies ahead, and at the end of this paragraph a photo of our bedroom, all in an effort to prove a point. I bring this up because of the conversation that I wrote about the other evening, (OK, I’m obsessing. It’s a problem of mine) but I also had an encounter a few months back that stuck with me. I was having coffee with a friend at Starbucks, we ran into two women, one of whom I had met before. I was introduced to the other woman as an artist. I didn’t bring it up, I usually don’t unless asked what I do. Many people, including family, refer to me as a “housewife”. Let me begin by saying I have no problem with the housewife label, I don’t work outside the home except for occasional odd artistic jobs. But I am first and foremost an artist. My entire home is a work of art. There isn’t a single square inch that hasn’t been creatively transformed by me, including my garden. I work hard every single day, and every day I do something artistic. For me creativity is as natural as breathing. If I’m not working on an art project, I’m photographing something, or I’m cooking a meal that would knock your socks off, and that meal would be very artistically arranged on a plate, a particular plate since I have way too many plates, all white, in an effort to display my food in the most beautiful manner possible, and more than likely taking a photo of that meal. Whew! Long sentence, but all true. (So that’s why the food photo) When I was introduced as an artist to this woman I was meeting for the first time, she turned and said, “An artist? Are you a real artist, I mean do you sell your work?” Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that unless I turn a profit I’m not a real artist. She apparently never heard of all of the great artists whose work was worth zip until they were six feet under. The conversation of the other night was headed in that same direction. No, I don’t have training, and yes, I have nothing hanging in a gallery for sale, but I am an artist, just one without a profit sheet.Master (2)

For tonight I revisited another orphan tucked away in the studio. I chose this one in particular because tomorrow is Father’s Day. My father-in-law passed away five years ago in July. He was a really lovely man who I liked very, very much. Last year I decided to paint a vignette of some of his belongings as a gift for my husband. Like so many other paintings before it, I gave up. I have felt bad about not finishing it, but I wanted Dan to love it, and I didn’t feel like I was good enough to paint this painting. I was at times sorry that I started the project because for me, (and I never told him this) I thought that the fact that it was unfinished only proved to Dan that I wasn’t good enough to do so. He has never shown anything but complete support for me, I was putting my crap on him. So much of the world around me has not given me the respect I deserve for my work. No schooling, no paintings currently for sale, but I have more talent than many of the “professionals” can claim ownership of. I don’t care for a great deal of modern art. I am entitled to that opinion, but I would never dare to say that the people who paint them are not artists because I dislike the work. When I spoke to Dan about this subject earlier this evening he said, “A baseball player is a baseball player, not just because he plays in the major leagues.” To use his analogy, I have “major league” talent, but I skipped spring training, much of the season is past, but I think I’m beginning to realize that I might just play in the all-star game and possibly the world series. I am feeling more confident in my painting daily. Dare I say it? Even a little fearless.
Oil on canvas, and I am proud to say it is almost finished. (Only because the Hawk’s are in the Stanley Cup, and we went out to watch the game. Maybe I should have used a hockey analogy instead)
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